Title:
"Seeking Ginny"
Author: Casca
Rating:
PG-13
Spoilers: Through Goblet
Classification: Post-Hogwarts H/G, Post-HBP AU
Summary:
For years, Ginny Weasley has tried to bring to an end to her feelings for Harry
Potter… she's even uprooted her life… but what happens when it's time to come
face to face with him again? A post-Hogwarts tale revolving around Ginny's
discovery of herself…while coming to terms with her feelings for Harry.…
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and
situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not
limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner
Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is
intended.
A/N: Thanks to
Blacktag for a speedy and encouraging beta! You're a lifesaver!
Epilogue
One month after
the Louvre.
Brian McGuire was
late. Ginny didn’t know why that fact surprised her. Seeing that the Apparition
Laws were gone and travel time to and from anywhere was, quite literally, one
second, being on time these days was a breeze. But some things, such as Brian's
total lack of regard for Ginny's time, never changed. It was oddly comforting.
Heaving a sigh, she
plopped onto her sofa, smashing the pillows she had just fluffed, crossed her
legs and tapped her foot in time to the music coming from her wireless. It was
dreadful being impulsive, she decided. It meant that your friends needed to be
just as impulsive or else you were destined to spend your entire life waiting
for them.
Her stomach gave a hungry
growl and she wondered if she should give Brian up as a lost cause and fix
herself something for dinner. An impatient glance towards the kitchen had her
eyes gazing absentmindedly on her photograph wall. She spotted one picture in particular of
herself, Brian, and Sarah on the night of the wedding, and her smile turned a
bit sly. Brian wouldn't be late if Sarah
had been joining them tonight.
Like always, she felt
slightly panicked at the thought of Brian out there pining for the girl who
happened to be Ginny's oldest and dearest friend, and who had no clue
whatsoever that she was the object of someone's almost stalker-like affections.
Ginny couldn’t help but feel as though
she had unleashed upon poor Sarah this virile, masculine monster who had no
idea how to talk to a girl without trying to get into her bed, much less lay
the foundation for a relationship. It was almost like knowing there was a
bomb somewhere in the world that could go off at any moment, and here she was,
left in limbo, anticipating for the explosion.
She just needed
to spend more time with the two of them, she decided, kicking off her shoes,
and flicking her wand for a glass of wine. Now that the Apparition laws were
gone, she could observe the two of them together a bit more, talk to Brian
further about his feelings, and try to see if Sarah thought him any different
than an arrogant womanizer (Ginny didn’t want to think that it had been she who had labeled Brian as such, even
though it was technically true).
But the fact
remained that Brian and Sarah did share something;
Ginny had received that vibe from the wedding. Whether it was merely a casual
acquaintance from bumping into each other at that coffee shop or some sort of
friendship, she didn’t know. All she
really had to go on was their actions towards each other at the fireworks show
the night of the wedding and she hadn’t been able to properly concentrate
then…not after that look from Harry….
Harry.
It was enough to
change her train of thought quite easily. Suddenly, she was no longer alone in
her flat, but on her bridge with him. The force of his kiss was taking all the
breath from her, and he was saying things that she had since repeated over
again in her mind a hundred times so she would never, ever forget them—
Then an owl was
coming through the haze of the sunrise and Harry was reading a letter with an
increasing frown, telling her that he had to go… and would probably be gone for
a while. And had Ginny known then that one solid month would go by without
seeing him or hearing a single word from him, she knew that she would have
done… something. Something more. Kissed him longer,
perhaps, or given him more words, more of a promise… anything.
It was a reality
that she could never have imagined, even in her wildest fantasies, living in a
world where Harry had told her that he wanted her, a world where every barrier
between them was shattered. But it was also a world where he wasn’t there.
Having him gone
had forced her to realize a few things about her relationship with him. Though
she understood the person he was, and could accept the requirements of his job without
resentment or jealousy, the insecurities were still there, that sharp, nagging
doubt born from the same emotions she'd felt when she had fought him tooth and
nail in front of Tom Riddle's portrait. Despite the fact that his eyes had said
a thousand words that night, Ginny knew – and she had known it then as well –
that it was going to take so much more to make it real for her.
But she had
pushed away the doubts best as she could. Instead, she allowed herself to
indulge in what it had felt like to have
him with her on her bridge. He'd framed her face in his hands and looked at her
in wonderment with those green, green eyes and kissed her with a tenderness
that had her toes curling even now—
POP!
Ginny jumped.
There was a moment of confusion as she sat on her sofa, one part of her still
back on her bridge with Harry, the other part looking at a disheveled Brian
McGuire. Her face suddenly burned as though he had caught her in the act of
kissing Harry rather than merely interrupting her thoughts on the subject.
"Right, I'm
bloody starving to death," she said, once she'd recovered, and shoved her
feet into her sandals. "I'm not even going to waste my breath asking why
you're late, but I'll tell you this: you will pay for my meal tonight, and dessert—"
"Dinner has
to wait, love, sorry," he said, and before offering an explanation, he
grabbed a piece of spare parchment from her sideboard and frantically looked
around. "Quill? D'you have
a quill?"
"What do you
mean dinner has to wait?"
"I have to get
back to work, a horrible deadline, but I shouldn't be longer than another hour,
just—do you have a bloody quill or not?"
"Well, this
is just great," Ginny snapped, marching to her handbag for a quill and
then shoving it at him. "If you had known about this deadline, why did you
make plans with me? Why, Brian? I skipped dinner with my co-workers for you. In
fact, forget it, I should still have time to meet up
with them—"
"No, you
can’t," came his matter-of-fact voice as he bent over the worktop to scribble
his note and Ginny lifted her brow.
"Excuse
me?"
"Well, you
can, but only for an hour. I've something I need to discuss with you after I
finish work."
"Erm, does
it look like I care?"
"Right,
where's the ruddy bird?"
"He's out.
As I will be in about ten seconds, so you had better get on with it."
Brian threw down
the quill. "Bloody hell, Ginny,
can you just cooperate for once in your life? I have to get back to work before
I get sacked. This—" He held up
the piece of parchment, "—is a note to Sarah asking her to meet me at the
coffee shop around ten, but before I do that, you need to help me figure out how I can make my move without
sending her running off in terror! Is that good enough for you?"
Ginny's jaw
dropped. She stared at Brian, all spiky hair and wild blue eyes, looking
stressed, but completely serious. Somewhere in the recess of her mind she
realized what had happened: the bomb had exploded.
"No,"
she managed softly, her head shaking slowly, and the tempo of her voice
increased as she stressed the word again. "No, no, no. There will be no
moves made on Sarah tonight, do you understand me,
Brian? No moves. And where is this coming from? I thought you
said that you weren't going to do
anything about your feelings yet, I thought—"
"Well, I've changed
my mind," he said in a clipped tone, folding his note. "So either you
wait for me here or I do this without any input from you at all."
And he was gone
with a pop.
At once her mind
began to race through a series of possible scenarios, each more horrifying than
the next until an image of Brian sending a lavish, meaningful wink to an
appalled Sarah over coffee appeared in her head.
No, the bomb
hadn’t exploded, she thought, dragging herself to the kitchen even though
she had lost her appetite. But the timer was ticking. As she pulled things together to fix herself
a quick meal, she found herself glancing at the clock every three minutes,
anxious for the hour to pass so that she could murder Brian and solve his problem
altogether. Then there was a tap at the window.
"Oh, no."
Fuming that it
might be Brian telling her that he was going to have a go with Sarah without
any advice, she stormed into the living room to accept the post. Snapping open the parchment, she glared at the handwriting… but then
everything inside of her went soft.
Sinking onto the
sofa, Harry's voice filled her head as she read the familiar scrawl:
Hey. How are you? I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I
wanted to but I just couldn’t. I'll be home next week, though, for good. I was
thinking that I would come over straight away. Will you be home Saturday the
5th, round eight or nine pm? Actually your answer probably won't reach me in
time, so I suppose I'll just show up at your flat and hope you'll be there. See
you then. Well, maybe.
Love, Harry
She couldn’t help it. She
closed her eyes and all but hugged the letter to her chest. He was coming home
and soon. Saturday the fifth was…tonight—
Her eyes flew
open. Tonight. Tonight at – her eyes snapped to the
clock as it turned to 8:07.
Knock, knock.
A strangled sound
escaped her throat. She stood stock still for all of a minute and then snapped
into action, scrambling across the living room, nearly knocking over her desk
chair, calling out as she reached the knob and yanked. Her face all but fell to
the ground.
"Bonsier!" Christian said cheerfully, then upon seeing her face, "Oh,
no. Is this a bad time?"
The silence that
rang out was so impolite that Ginny nearly shouted,
"N-no!"
Thoroughly embarrassed
that she had all but frowned when she'd seen him standing at the door, she
forced a bright smile.
"Of course it's not a bad time—"
"Are you
expecting someone? I can go."
"Don’t be
silly," she rushed to say, pulling him by the arm into the apartment, her
heart beating frantically. Her French wasn't perfect as it was, and with the
added preoccupation, her questions came out in a jumble. "How was your
trip? When did you get back? Any photographs?"
She was unable to
stop herself from peering down the staircase to the entrance of the building
before closing the door.
"One at a
time, thanks," Christian said, laughing. "The trip was wonderful.
I've only been back for one day, so there's been no time to get any photographs
developed. Soon, though."
"Well, I'm
still waiting on photos from your holiday in
"Sorry.
Things have been manic, as you can relate to."
"I certainly
can," she said, gesturing towards the sofa, her eyes darting to the clock.
"Don’t go to
too much trouble," he said, watching as the bottle of wine she had
Summoned uncorked and poured itself into a new glass and refilled her own.
"I can tell you're in the middle of something, so I won’t stay long. I
just wanted to pop in and let you know I'm alive."
Ginny smiled as
she handed him his glass. "You're certainly difficult to keep track of.
Although I very much enjoyed the letter with that photograph of you standing
next to that tilting tower—"
"The
Christian took a
sip of his wine and Ginny studied him. He seemed leaner…even taller somehow.
There was certainly something unrecognizable from the lonely barman she had
become friends with several years ago.
But some things
were the same, she noted. Physically, he was the same. His hair still curled at
the back of his neck, his brown eyes still held an underlying calmness, and he
sipped his wine with the exact care he had taught her the first time they had
met.
"So," she
muttered, wondering if she should come right out and ask, or if she should beat
around the bush a bit more. She decided to be subtle. "
A spark of
understanding crossed Christian's face and his smile turned a bit uneasy.
"Yeah," he said, nodding his head slowly. "
There was silence
as they both sipped their wine slowly and then Christian was the one who spoke.
"I'm not going to say she wasn't a factor in my… decision to go
there."
Ginny nodded,
thinking about the letter she had received from Aurelie around a month ago,
detailing her friend's marriage and move to Rome. Ginny had responded, of
course, but not without the knowledge that her friendship with the reckless
witch wasn't nearly as strong as it had been when they'd worked together.
"Did you see
her?"
"No,"
he answered, and his eyes were completely unreadable now. "No, I… I hadn't
decided if I would try to find her or if I should just… leave it, you know? But
then… then something happened and I became… distracted."
There was a hint
of a smile on his face that Ginny found intriguing. "What d'you mean, distracted?"
He cleared his
throat. "Well, I had a run-in with some people… a group of American
tourists in fact, and well, I took up with them for a while."
"American
tourists?" she exclaimed. "With your very limited
English?"
"And their non-existent French?" He laughed. "Yes, it was… laughable at times, but we
managed."
"Mm-hmm,"
Ginny said, noting the bit of blush on his cheeks. "Was there, perhaps, a
female witch who was rather taken with your romantic French accent?" She
batted her eyelashes for effect and watched as Christian lifted a single brow.
"Well,
that's the other thing. She's not … technically a witch."
Ginny blinked, then widened her eyes. "A
muggle?"
"Yes," he
said solemnly. "I toured
Laughing, she
asked, "But there was a… a girl, then?"
Christian merely
took a sip of his wine and avoided her pointed grin. "Good show," he
said, gesturing his glass towards the bottle of wine.
Ginny grinned,
"Right I'll allow one change of subject, but I reserve the right to return
to it." She pointed to the wine. "I thought you would like that. I
was thinking of you when I bought it. You know, you taught me everything I know
about wine."
"And it only
took you six years to put that knowledge to use."
She tossed her
hair. "Yes, well, I'm trying to expand my horizons a bit, thanks."
"Here's to
that," he said, lifting his glass, and she dutifully clinked
hers to it.
Knock, knock.
It was a
challenge not to spit out her wine, but Ginny managed to stay composed as both
she and Christian glanced at the door. A look of understanding crossed
Christian's face, and he made to set down his glass, but Ginny shook her head.
"You stay
right where you are," she said, trying to control her pounding heart as
she stepped to the door and reached for the knob.
Once again her
anticipation fizzled, although this time it was due to the sight of a large
amount of bushy hair and a big smile.
"Hi!"
exclaimed Hermione. "I've fantastic news on the house-hunt! Are you almost
ready for dinner?"
"Er,"
stammered Ginny as Hermione brushed her way inside, pulling off her raincoat.
"It's
positively dreadful at home. Rain for six days in a row. Hey, are we still going to your
café, because I told Ron— oh."
Hermione stopped
in her tracks upon noticing Christian, and it was at that moment that a
horrible realization came over Ginny.
"Oh, Hermione. Oh, no. We were
supposed to have dinner tonight, weren't we?"
There was a pause
as Hermione looked from Christian to the bottle of wine on the table, then back
to Ginny.
"Ginny,
don’t worry about it!" She exclaimed with an uncharacteristic,
high-pitched giggle. "We arranged that – what? Two weeks ago? It's my
fault, I should have reminded you."
There was an odd
look on Hermione's face when she glanced back at Ginny, who peered at her
curiously.
"Oh… well,
I'll just…get out of your way," Hermione said hastily, sending a
pink-cheeked smile towards Christian, and it was at that moment that Ginny
realized exactly what Hermione was thinking.
"Please
don’t," Christian interjected in his thick accent. "My visit was
entirely unexpected, I was just about to leave."
"Oh, no,
that's okay…I…"
Hermione looked
at Ginny with apologetic eyes as Christian stood up, but Ginny couldn’t even
meet them. Her sister-in-law thought she was on a date. What she didn’t know
was that the date Ginny had been waiting a decade for was on his way at that
very moment.
And then, there
was a third knock on the door.
"Oh, it's
probably Ron," Hermione said quickly, taking it upon herself to open the
door. "I told him to meet us when he finished up with work and—" She
stopped in mid-sentence, gasped, then shrieked, "Harry?!"
Ginny closed her
eyes as Christian's gaze flew to her.
"Oh, thank
goodness!" Hermione was saying as she threw her arms around Harry.
"You're back for good, then? Are you okay? You don’t look so good. Did you
see Ron? Did he tell you to come here, because Ginny has plans, so we're not
going to dinner anymore."
From the doorway,
a disheveled and bewildered Harry glanced into the room and Ginny watched his
eyes – as Hermione's had done - travel from Christian to the two glasses of
wine to Ginny's own face where they stayed.
"Anyway, so
we'll be going," Hermione said cheerfully, pulling her raincoat back on,
and turning to Harry. "Ready?"
"Hermione,"
Ginny managed weakly, but couldn’t say anything else before,
"Oi! What's going on?"
Yet another voice
joined the fray, this one from the staircase behind Harry, a voice Ginny most
certainly did not want to hear at that moment.
"Ruddy hell,
mate, when did you get back?" Clapping him on the back and all but pushing
Harry into the apartment, Ron slammed the door behind them and said,
"Everyone ready for dinner?"
Hermione,
however, looked startled at Ron's first query. "You two didn’t see each
other? Then Harry, how did you know…"
"I'm going
to go," Christian whispered to Ginny as Hermione trailed off, her eyes
bright and looking from Harry to Ginny with a suspicion that Ginny couldn't
deal with. Christian glanced at her with an apologetic look on his face.
"I'm sorry."
"Don’t
be," she said, matching his miserable smile. "I'll see you
soon."
As Christian
Disapparated, Ginny's eyes were pulled to the side and she saw that Harry had
been watching the whispered goodbye she and Christian had exchanged. Suddenly,
her stomach hurt.
"Hermione,
leave him alone, who cares how he knew?" Ron exclaimed, tossing his work
robes on the sofa and loosening his tie. "He's here, isn’t he? Anyway,
where are we eating? Nothing too French, remember what happened last
time." He looked meaningfully from Ginny to Hermione with a screwed up
face and a hand on his abdomen.
But Ginny had
eyes only for Harry who was trying very hard to avoid hers. Hermione had been
right in saying that he didn't look good. She could see it in his eyes… they
were tired… and unstable.
She felt a
tempting urge to take out her wand and bewitch her brother and sister-in-law to
have the idea suddenly occur to them to go and de-gnome the Burrow's garden at
that very moment. The urge became even stronger when Hermione added to the
tension that she didn’t know existed by exclaiming,
"Where did
your date go, Ginny, that Christian? Did we scare him away?" Hermione
asked innocently, looking slightly smug when Ginny threw her eyes to Harry, her
face going completely red.
"What
date?" Ron demanded.
"Christian
is not my date!" Ginny exclaimed shrilly. "We're friends. He's been away in
Standing alone in
the tiny kitchen with him caused her to become quite aware of just how small
her kitchen actually was. The heady
realization that it was Harry in
front of her, the very same Harry who had kissed her and told her that he
wanted her not four short weeks ago, caused every little nerve ending in her
body to react. She became instantly grateful that she had hung some drapery in
the kitchen doorway, as an artistic means for a door, as the curtain closed
behind them in a woosh. For a moment she couldn't speak… and then the words
seemed to tumble out of her.
"I'm sorry.
Harry, I'm so sorry. I know showing up here to a bunch of people is the last
thing you probably wanted. But I only got your letter today, in fact, not even
an hour ago and people just kept showing up! I forgot that Hermione and I had
plans, and she told Ron to come, and before that was Christian, and he only
stopped by because he's back from quite a long holiday, and—"
Ginny's breath
caught in throat, her words frozen when Harry lifted his eyes to hers. She was
locked into the glow of the green for a moment before he took a careful
step towards her and lifted his hand to touch her cheek..
"'S'okay,"
he mumbled on a deep, tired sigh. "I know."
Ginny closed her
eyes, not even trying to control the acceleration of her heart. You're the only one I wanted to see tonight,
she added to herself, but knew that her voice would fail her if she tried to
speak.
As though all the
chaos from the other room had come to a halt, she and Harry stayed quite still
for a moment. Ginny reached up to stroke the back of his hand and their fingers
automatically twined together, his knuckles brushing her cheekbone.
"Are you all
right?" she mumbled, staring up into his eyes.
"Yeah… I'm
all right." His voice was low but reassuring. "Just
exhausted. It's been a long week."
She flexed her
fingers in his. "So…should we tell the pair of them to sod off and go
home?"
A smile flashed
across his face, sending a spreading warmth through
her. "We can just… Disapparate," he suggested in a low mutter.
"Mmm, I like
that better. Where should we go?"
Something playful
came into his eyes, something slightly removed from the tension she'd sensed in
him moments ago. "That bridge was nice."
The memory of
that bridge seemed to reflect in their gaze. It happened so fast she barely had
time to react. There was a spark in his eyes a split second before he abruptly grabbed her by the face and kissed her fully on the
mouth.
She felt the
storm brewing the moment it started, felt the tension from him pour into her.
And she forgot that there were other people in the apartment or that there were
other people in the world. Surely, the only thing that mattered anywhere was
that Harry was in her kitchen, and that he was kissing her like he would never
stop.
Then something
happened to shatter everything. There was a popping sound, and a great weight,
and suddenly there were three people inhabiting the kitchen instead of two.
Ginny stumbled
against Harry. After a momentary pause in which all parties became aware of
what had happened, and before she could even manage to extract herself from Harry's embrace, she managed only to squeak out
a horrified,
"Brian!?"
But Brian didn’t
seem to see her at all. He was looking at Harry and his eyes held a deadly sort
of look that rendered Ginny momentarily speechless.
"Hey, what
are you two doing in there?" Called a fourth voice, a
voice that sounded way too close to the curtain.
"Ron, I said
let them be!" Hermione hissed.
But Ron didn’t
pay Hermione any mind and three became five in a space that was meant only for
one.
"Oh, for the
love of—Brian," Ginny said, turning to him and gripping his sleeve.
"We'll talk about this later, okay—"
"No," came Brian's voice in a reckless tone that she recognized
with full out panic. "I'd like to hear what the hell you think you're doing snogging this
piece of scum—"
"Sorry?" Harry's single, clipped word cut through
Brian's rant and overlapped both Hermione's gasp and Ron's demand of, "SNOGGING?!"
"But what
actually needs explaining is why you've invaded Ginny's privacy and Apparated
directly into this apartment," Harry bit out.
"I've more
of a right to be here than you," Brian said, looking directly above Ginny's
head into Harry's face and the violence in both pairs of eyes seemed palpable
as Brian spat, "What the hell
are you trying to do to her?"
Ginny's heart
took a painful dip. "Brian—"
"No."
It was Harry who cut her off. "Let him say what he wants, Ginny."
"Perhaps we
should all just sit down and talk," said Hermione in a feeble voice.
"Perhaps
Potter and I should take this outside."
"If that's
the case, then you'll see me out there, too," snarled Ron, glaring at
Brian, and Ginny groaned.
"Nobody is
going outside, please, Bri—"
"I haven’t
heard an explanation yet, Ginny."
Ron looked
between Brian, Harry and Ginny with a torn, apprehensive look on his face.
"I'd… rather like to hear one myself," he grumbled and Ginny very
nearly exploded.
"It is
nobody's business," she screeched, "what Harry and I do in my
kitchen—"
"And when he
messes you around again, and your friends are the ones picking up the pieces, who's business will it be then, eh, love?"
Brian kept his eyes
level on Harry's as he asked Ginny the question, but Ginny's own eyes slammed
shut. For a moment there was silence as Brian's words seemed to reach them all
and when Ginny opened her eyes, she saw that her brother was looking at Harry
with wary curiosity.
"Look,
nobody is messing anyone around," Harry said, and although he still
sounded angry, there was something like a plea in his voice. "I'm not… I
don't… I'm not trying to hurt her—"
"Harry, you
do not have to say anything."
Ginny turned to
Brian, fully ready to let him have it. But when he looked back at her, their
years of friendship seemed to stare from his furious eyes and she found herself
at a loss for words. Brian had seen her at the absolute lowest time of her
life, and all he knew was that Harry had been the cause. How could she be angry
when all he wanted was to protect her?
The decision,
however, was taken out of her hands when a very small, very curious voice from
behind the curtain said,
"Ginny?"
Everyone turned
as the fabric was drawn back and a pair of bright gray eyes peered in.
"Sarah! It's
Sarah! Hi, Sarah!" shrieked Hermione.
Sarah smiled
brightly at Hermione. "I heard your voices, so I just came in when nobody
answered my knock," she explained, looking around the kitchen at the five
occupants. As her eyes moved from Brian to Harry to Ginny standing between
them, her smile began to slowly falter. "Is… this a… bad time?"
"No, you've
come at a brilliant time," Ginny declared, whirling around to face Brian
with sudden excitement. "Brian was just looking for you, Sarah."
Brian quickly met
Ginny's gaze and his eyes narrowed slowly.
"Right… er…I
got your letter, Brian, about the coffee house," Sarah explained, still
appearing hesitant. "I came by to ask Ginny if she wanted to join us. I hear
they have live music on the weekends, I thought it might be…erm…fun…."
Brian turned
then, looking past everyone, directly at Sarah, and an entirely different level
of tension rose in the room. He stared at her for a long time, and then,
without warning, he gave a very dry and very rude laugh.
"You wanted
Ginny to join us, did you?" he said loudly, shaking his head.
"Figures… bloody figures."
"My, Ginny's
popular today," said Ron.
"I'm not up
for it anymore, Sarah, sorry," Brian bit out.
"Stop
it." The words Ginny threw at Brian were both cold and narrowed, much like
her gaze. She knew that look in his eye, the look she had once seen quite often
on his face and she had despised it then. It was the Brian from
"I don't
want to have anything with Sarah like I planned, Ginny, so just back off!"
Brian shouted.
"Hey—"
Harry and Ron started to say together, but Ginny yelled at Brian,
"Oh, I see!
You can butt your nose into my life, but I can’t help you with
yours, is it?"
"You're not trying
to help me, you're trying to get rid of me!" He
bellowed. "Well, I'll do it for you!"
But Ginny was too
fast for him. Feeling suddenly reckless, she retorted loudly,
"Sarah,
Brian has something he wants to tell you."
Murder – pure,
thunderous murder - crossed Brian's face.
"Ron and I
should be going," Hermione said, voice trembling.
"Not on your
life, it's just getting good."
"I have
learned," Ginny said loudly, "that in life, you have to be honest
with yourself and with the people you love. Otherwise you can’t truly be happy.
Harry and I are finally being honest with each other and I think everyone here
could learn a lesson from us and start doing the same!"
The tense silence
in the kitchen tightened even more…until Ron broke through.
"So does that
mean that you two are… that you've…what does that mean exactly?"
"Oh, for the
love of—" exclaimed Hermione with a dramatic sigh. "You still haven’t gained a damn clue, have
you? How is that possible, Ron? How?"
"WHAT?!" Ron's bellow was
the loudest yet and it shook the walls. "All I'm saying is they ruddy well
need to explain what the bloody hell is going on! 'Harry and I are being honest with each
other.' What in sodding hell is that supposed to mean?"
As Hermione and
Ron argued, Ginny felt herself being pushed against
Harry again and realized that Brian was squeezing through the kitchen, a sort
of panic on his face as the curtain Sarah had been holding fell back.
"Oh, God."
Instantly
regretting her impulsive speech, Ginny realized that she had just single-handedly
done what Brian had been walking on eggshells around Sarah for months to
prevent.
"Go
on," said a voice near her ear. She lifted her eyes to Harry, who nodded
toward the curtain. "Go after them."
Looking at him
gave her a surge of happiness she knew she didn't deserve. "D'you have any time-turners on you, perchance?" She asked desperately, and felt a slight thrill when the
corner of his mouth lifted.
"Fresh out,
sorry."
"What good are
you?"
It was unbelievable that
she could smile at a time like this. It was Harry, all Harry, she decided,
aware that she was going to hell for flirting when her actions, mere seconds
ago, might be the reason for Sarah getting hurt and Brian's imminent suicide.
"Don’t go anywhere,
okay?" She asked him, and their eyes locked when her body pressed
helplessly against his to pass. Trying not to focus too much on her tingling
flesh and elbowing Ron in the ribs, Ginny pushed her way through the curtain
and hurried to the doorway.
It was dark in the
stairway as she plundered down the three flights, and her thoughts were pulled
in so many directions that she didn’t see the building's ghost, the Duke of
Poldark, floating on the second landing until it was too late.
"Oh!" She
exclaimed, whirling around after running right through him in her haste.
"I didn’t see you, sorry!"
The ghost called after her, in a stiff voice, "You will address me properly, or not at all, miss, and might I add that it is highly irregular for a lady to charge down the stairs like a stampeding Hippogriff, no matter what her royal status!"
"You're
right, it won’t happen again!" she called from the bottom landing, hastily
adding, "Your Grace," before throwing herself out into warm summer
air.
She didn’t know
what she had been expecting – perhaps a crying Sarah or a hanging Brian – but
there was none of that. There was only Brian, and he stood like a lost little
boy, staring down at Ginny's killer dragon flowers as though he wanted to offer
himself up as dinner.
"Where's
Sarah?" Ginny asked breathlessly, looking around, still shivering from her
all too close encounter with the Duke.
Brian barely
looked at her as he muttered, "Home."
"Oh, no." Ginny closed her
eyes. "Oh, Bri. Look, you have to go after her.
Tell her everything, tell her—"
"You don’t
understand, Ginny—"
"No, I do
understand!" she exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulders and forcing him
to look at her. "I understand better than anyone. Look, Bri, right before I made the final decision to come
back to Paris, Harry and I had a talk. And I told him everything. Everything that was in my heart. And he came to me a month
ago and… and he and I would never be
in the place we are now if I hadn't been open with him after all those years.
You have to trust me on this – she will never truly see you if you're not
honest with her."
There was a
momentary pause where Brian appeared torn between shoving her away or pulling out his own hair.
"You really
don’t understand," he said in a strained voice. "She's not home for good, she went home to change her bloody shoes. And she'll
be back in three seconds and I have no goddamn
idea what to do now that you've blurted out your stupid 'everyone needs to
love each other' speech—"
"It's be honest with
each other, not—wait, why is she changing her shoes?"
The look Brian
gave her caused Ginny to take a physical step back. "She is changing her
shoes," he said between his teeth, "because we are going for a walk
in Muggle Paris and the shoes she's wearing now
are not conducive to bloody walking!"
Ginny blinked twice.
"So then… then you're going for a walk! Well, that's brilliant,
you can carry on with the plan!"
"What plan,
Ginny?" he asked in a desperate voice, grabbing her arms and giving her a
hard shake. "Do you remember coming up with a plan tonight, because I sure
as hell don't!"
Chewing on her
lip, Ginny ignored the blinding pain where his hands gripped and studied him.
"You don’t need my help, you've got this covered."
For a moment, it
seemed as though Brian had lost all manner of speech, and then he bit out,
"Really? You didn’t feel like that earlier."
Ginny chose to
ignore this. "Why Muggle Paris? How did that come
up?"
Brian let go of
her to pinch the bridge of his nose, and he said to his fingers,
"When I
asked her to go for a walk, instead of a simple yes or no, she gave me a list
of every tourist spot in the city that she hasn't seen yet – that is, before
she decided that the sandals she was wearing are more of a picnic shoe than a walking shoe."
Ginny found
herself smiling. "She's nervous."
"No kidding,"
he retorted, sending her a look that suggested it was all her fault.
"Well, it's
not necessarily a bad thing that you make her nervous, you know."
"Whatever.
You and I will have this out later – all of this," he added meaningfully,
and she knew he was talking about Harry.
Ginny crossed her
arms and merely smiled. "I love you, you do know that?"
"Shut it,
will you, I'm not in the mood." His eyes narrowed suddenly as he studied
her. "So that's why you've been acting differently."
"What do you
mean?"
"You've been
different these past few weeks. It's because of him, isn’t it?"
She said nothing
for a moment, and then, "Want to know a secret?"
"No."
"I always
thought that you and I would end up together."
It had been worth
blurting it out, she decided, for the pure shock value that registered on his
face, even though it was mingled with a frustration born from her abrupt change
of subject.
"What?"
he asked edgily.
"You may
think I've gone mad," she said honestly. "But it's true. In my most
completely sane and rational thoughts, I use to assume that once I truly got
Harry out of my system and you finally got… those millions of other girls out
of your system, that we would… you
know…." Wanting him to lighten up a bit, she lifted her eyebrows
suggestively. "You know."
But Brian's face
looked about as light as a boulder. He must really be stressed, she decided,
for him not to take advantage of her flirting.
"Why are you
so shocked?" she exclaimed, hitting his shoulder. "We lived together
for more than four years, we're best friends and I know you're aware of our amazing chemistry."
And then it
happened. The light came into his blue eyes. There was a pause, and he said, in
a low voice, "We do sort of… sizzle, don’t we?"
Ginny burst out
laughing. "Well, whatever you want to call it is fine. But don’t go
getting any ideas. I'm taken now."
Brian studied
her. "Are you then?" he asked, the apprehension reappearing on his
face.
"Yeah,"
she said softly. "And you can't protect me, Bri, not from this."
He looked torn between
wanting to press the matter or continue their light flirting when,
once again, Sarah's voice changed everything.
"Um… hello? Brian? Are you
in there? I've Apparated outside the gate and I can't unlock it. I should just
Apparate in, hang on, I'll be right there—"
"I'm coming,
Sarah!" he shouted, grabbing Ginny by the arm and hurtling her towards the
building.
"I'm going,
I'm going," she said, tripping up the stairs. "Good luck!" she
called in a whisper, then hurried inside at the look
he gave her.
There was no sign
of the duke's glowing form floating inside the stairwell as she made her way
up, but when she turned on the second landing to climb the last flight, her
eyes were met with something that might as well have been a white light.
"Hi,"
she said, her voice changing into that soft, girly sound that only he could
warrant.
"Hi."
Was it her imagination, or did his voice go softer as well?
She looked
around. "Where are Ron and Hermione?"
"I told them
to get the hell out."
A nervous giggle
escaped her. So they were alone once and for all. There was very little room on
the step where he sat but that was even more incentive for her to close the
distance between them and sink down next to him. She felt his body react; he
turned a bit towards her.
"Did you
really tell them to get the hell out?" she asked after a while, turning to
look at him. He met her gaze with a sideways shift of his eyes.
"In… so many words."
She matched his
smirk. "I imagine it was the first time Hermione obliged you without any
hassle?"
"Well, I
think she approves of you."
The affection in
his voice warmed her. She thought about the last time she had been in a
stairwell alone with Harry. At the Halloween party, they had sat together in
much of the same darkness, but it hadn’t been so quiet then, with the party
going on. Ginny also remembered that Hermione had come in after he'd
Disapparated, and begged her to talk to Harry about his depression. Something
about that memory, perhaps the emptiness she'd been left with at having to refuse
Hermione over and over again, caused her to push slightly closer to Harry.
"Ron's going
to be a pain in the arse for a while," he said.
She managed a
smile. "Well… did we really expect any differently?"
Harry laughed.
Ginny felt the vibration in his shoulders.
"I'm afraid
the same is true for Brian," she muttered. "Are you upset by what he
said?" she asked quietly when he stiffened beside her.
He shrugged but
Ginny knew better from the way he tensed again at the mention of him.
"I suppose
it's my fault. I've never really spoken to him… about you. He's had to sort of…
put some things together and form his own version of what happened between us.
All he really had to go on is…well, how devastated I was after I left your
house that night—"
"The subject
of me never came up when you lived in
It was an abrupt
question, one that wouldn’t have taken her by surprise had it not been for the
edge in his voice.
"No,"
she said honestly, shame welling up again. "No, it didn't, not until… not
until I told him that I was interviewing you."
It was like
speaking about another life, those days in
"That was
quite the conversation," she said, trying to inject a light note, even
though her voice sounded strained to her own ears. "All of a sudden, you
were in town and you were my friend and Brian was clueless as usual—"
"Can you get
past it, Ginny?"
She was confused,
at first by his query and then by his angry tone. She paused for a moment
before asking, "Get past—?"
"This!"
he exclaimed. "All of this! Apparently, I've caused you a lot of hurt in
your life, even more than perhaps I've realized. I'm just wondering if I'm
going to have to spend the rest of my
life trying to make you see that what I feel for you is real!"
Ginny stared at
him soundlessly for a moment before demanding, "And just what have I done
tonight to make you think that I can't get past it?"
He gave a dry
laugh and said nothing. Ginny fumed.
"What?"
There was a pause
and then he said, his voice low, "I'm just slightly concerned, that's all,
to find you sharing wine with some bloke you snogged at the wedding."
His words were
like a crushing blow. Stunned, she stared at him for a full minute before
blurting out, horrified, "Some bloke I snogged at the wedding?" Her
mind flew back to the goodbye kiss she and Christian had shared down at the
lake. Had Harry… could he have possibly seen?
"Harry, that
wasn't just some bloke."
He turned
piercing eyes on her for what seemed like an eternity. "What do you
mean?" he asked, and his voice sounded distant, as though it was stuck in
his throat.
"Christian
and I were friends when I moved here the first time – just friends. And then… well, when I came back, he was going through a
difficult time and I… well, I stayed with him in his apartment at first
and…"
Something
tightened in Harry's jaw, and Ginny felt her heart freeze a bit.
"We… we did
lean on each other for a while." Her voice felt stuck in her throat.
"It was a… a comfort thing more than anything. We were there for each
other. When you saw us at the wedding… we were… well, I suppose you could
call it breaking up."
She twisted
around to look into his eyes and waited for him to turn to her. "We're friends now… just friends…that's all."
His chest moved
up and down slowly with a breath that was very controlled. "Oh. Right. Sorry."
"It's
okay," Ginny whispered after a moment.
"Look, I
didn't mean it the way I… I just… I had a lot of time to think this past month.
There were things I didn’t bring up that night in the Louvre… and then on your
bridge… because I didn't want… I just wanted that night to be about us. I
didn’t want to ask you if there was someone else in your life, probably because
I was afraid of the answer."
"And seeing
Christian here caused you to think that… that I had been seeing him this whole
time?" she asked, stung.
"No, no," he cut in. "I don't… I'm a