EPILOGUE
Lily poked her
head around the doorframe and felt a slow smile creep across her face at the
sight before her...James was sitting in the rocking chair with Harry in his
arms, and they were both fast asleep.
She reveled for a moment in the peaceful silence of the scene, and then
tiptoed into the room, careful not to make too much noise. She’d left her book in there earlier, and
wanted to get some more reading done before she went to bed. Before she could get across the room,
however, James’ eyes flew open and he blinked a couple of times at the light
streaming in from the corridor. Lily
felt guilty for having woken him, as they’d both been so exhausted lately, and
whispered,
“I
didn’t mean to wake you...I was just getting my book.”
He
stared at her for a moment, as though his mind was still waking up, and then
glanced at the book in her hand and smirked.
“I should have known to leave it outside the door.”
She
gave him a fake, silent laugh and turned to walk back out. As she was reaching for the door, he stood up
as well, careful not to jostle Harry.
She shook her head and protested quietly, “Oh, no...you don’t have to,
James. You looked comfortable there.”
“He
needs to sleep in his bed, and I need to sleep in mine,” he whispered back, and
then shot her a grin, “Or...if not sleep...”
She
raised an eyebrow at him and fought the urge to laugh, even though she knew he
was perfectly serious. “Make sure you
leave his little bear with him...he hates it when he wakes up in the night and
it isn’t there.”
“I
know,” James replied in mock irritation, then muttered, “You’d think I’ve never
put my son to bed before.”
She
shook her head and rolled her eyes.
“Well, I’m going to get back to my book.”
“Don’t
get too far into it,” he warned suggestively, “You’re going to have to put it
down in a minute.”
She
waved her hand to show that she didn’t take him seriously, even as her stomach
did a little flip and her face flushed.
Rather than walk to their room straight away, however, she stood for a
moment on the other side of the half-closed doorway so that she could listen to
what was happening in the room without being noticed. She heard Harry give a little whimper as
James laid him down in his crib...this was always the hard part. After a minute of silence, she heard James
begin to whisper.
“You’ve got to go
to sleep, I’m afraid...and I’ve got to go and put Mummy to bed now.”
Lily rolled her
eyes again, putting her hand over her mouth to stop the laughter from
escaping. James went on, “Listen,
Harry...let me give you something to sleep on tonight. Whatever else you do in life...make sure you
end up with a redhead. You’ll never
regret it.”
Even though the
circumstances of his saying it were completely silly, Lily felt oddly
touched. Before she could think more
about it, though, he finished, “Goodnight, Harry…I’d better go. Mummy’s waiting for me right outside the
door...she must be impatient for something.”
Lily jumped
slightly, then smiled and turned away.
Padding down the corridor, she went to open the door to their
bedroom...and then stopped, listening.
She could have sworn she heard something...something strange. Frowning, she walked over to the stairs and
leaned on the banister, straining her ears.
Presently, she heard a twig snap just below the window...and something
about the noise frightened her. Turning,
she walked swiftly back toward Harry’s room and got there just as James was
closing the door behind him.
“James,”
she said in a low voice, “I heard something outside.”
He
looked at her and his brows drew together.
“What?”
“A
noise...it sounded like a prowler.”
He
stared for a moment, then shook his head.
“No, that’s impossible. Probably
just an animal or something.”
She
sighed, knowing he was probably right but unable to shake the feeling in her
stomach. “I think we should go and see.
I don’t know why...it scared me.”
He
regarded her for a moment, then nodded.
“Alright...I’ll go look. You stay
up here, and I’ll be right back.”
She
nodded, feeling silly but somehow justified.
James walked past her and went downstairs, leaving her upstairs
alone. She knew she should feel
completely secure in that house, with all the protections it offered...but she
didn’t. It made her nervous to stay
there...as though they were isolated.
That had been the point, she knew, but...it also made her feel miles
from aid if needed. Suddenly, she heard
James running back up the steps...and she knew something wasn’t right. Before she could ask, he bounded up to her
and grabbed her by the shoulders.
“Lily,
take Harry and go! It’s him!”
She
felt her blood turn to ice, and she could do no more than stand there with her
eyes wide with fear. James didn’t even
have to say his name...she knew who he meant.
This couldn’t be happening. He
shook her a little and said urgently, “Go! Run!”
“What
are you going to do?” she asked, although her voice came out in a mere choked
whisper. He shook his head and replied,
as he grabbed her arm and propelled her towards the door of the nursery,
“I’ll
hold him off.”
She
could feel her heart about to jump right out of her chest, and she thought she
might be sick from the panic. As she
reached for the doorknob, she looked back over her shoulder at James...and
found him looking back at her as he pulled out his wand. In his eyes was a look she’d never seen
before. There was fear there, yes...but
it wasn’t fear for himself. It was
determination...he knew what he had to do, and he was prepared to do it without
a second thought. Lily realized with a
sickening jolt, as she heard the lock being blown off the front door, that this
was probably the last time she would ever see him. Tears welling uncontrollably in her eyes as
she drank in his beloved features, she said in a surprisingly clear voice,
“I
love you.”
His
eyes softened for a brief moment, and she felt their souls connect for the last
time. They both knew what needed to be
done...a single thought existed in their minds.
After a pause, he replied, “I love you, too. Now go...hurry.”
Her
heart breaking, she turned the handle on the door, knowing that there was no
time to spare. She had to get her son to
safety...it was all that mattered. Her
eyes adjusted quickly to the dimness as she looked around, the room lit by a
single nightlight...and then she saw that he was already awake. The yelling must have woken him...but he
wasn’t crying. He was just sitting
there, quietly sucking on the ear of his already-ratty stuffed bear.
A
huge noise erupted from downstairs...a screeching noise, followed by a flash of
green light that invaded the dim room through the cracks in the doorway. Then there was silence...and she knew she was
alone. He was gone. She’d never hear his voice again, never see
his grin...never again feel his arms around her.
He was gone.
Pushing the
crushing grief away, knowing she didn’t have time to think about it, she ran to
the window and pushed aside the light blue curtains so that she could see into
the garden below. Gazing out into the
night, she tried to make out an escape route...and then her throat closed as
she caught sight instead of dozens upon dozens of black-robed figures standing
in the darkness below.
Death-eaters...they were surrounding the house. There was no way out.
Heavy
steps now resounded on the stairs...he was coming. There was no time to escape, no time to
hide...and, panicked, she went for her wand.
Suddenly, she felt
a tug on her hair. Looking down, she was
met with the sight of Harry...his chubby little fist was holding a handful of
her red hair, and his green eyes were bright as he shoved it in his mouth. He regarded her with a complete childlike
innocence, unaware of the danger that was just outside his bedroom door. As she gazed at him, she suddenly knew the
true meaning of the word fear...any
fear she had ever felt for her own life was nothing compared to this.
Slowly, she slid
her wand back into her pocket. She knew
what she had to do...fighting wasn’t the answer. James had fought...he had been beaten. If James couldn’t hold him, then Lily knew
she didn’t have a chance in hell...and if she fought, if she did not give her
life willingly, it wouldn’t work. Lily
needed it to work...Harry needed it to work.
This spell, the thought of which had kept her up many
nights. The one she had prayed
she would never have to consider. She’d
read about it long ago, in some dusty old book at Hogwarts...this ancient
protection that a mother could offer her child when all other hope had failed. Recently, she’d gone in search of information
about it and, though it was scarce, she had found it. Now it was the only hope she had of saving
her son.
She had to let Voldemort
kill her.
Closing her eyes
tightly, she snatched Harry out of his crib and held him to her. The tears were coming fast, but she was not
afraid to die...she was only overwhelmed with regret that she had to leave him
alone. This was the last time she was
ever going to hold him...she would not be there to share in the little triumphs
and failures that he would experience throughout his life. She was going to be missing everything, and
he would never know her. Pressing her
lips against his head, she whispered, “I’m sorry, Harry.”
He made a small
noise at the back of his throat, and she looked down at him. He was grabbing for her necklace. Kissing him again as she heard the footsteps
stop right outside the door, she silently begged the powers-that-be to make
this work...to keep him safe.
“I love you,
Harry,” she said, and then she screamed as the door exploded from its
hinges. Her heart beating frantically,
she took one last look at Harry and then turned around to face her fate, her
wand still resting in her back pocket where it would stay.
FINIS
Please
Read Author’s Note and Farewell Here
More Fic by Emmyjean at
The Hidden Tower
